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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27169814">Would It Be So Backwards</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMedJack/pseuds/TheMedJack'>TheMedJack</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Take Two AU [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Brief Panic Attack/Spiraling at start, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Dorks in Love, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, First Kiss, Fix-It, Forehead Touching, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Getting Together, Just a lot of soft interactions that make me weep, Leia Kaspbrak Tozier, Love Confessions, M/M, Otherwise pure fluff and slow burn payoff, POV Richie Tozier, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Rated teen for language, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Sick Richie Tozier, So much kissing, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Take Two AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:22:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27169814</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMedJack/pseuds/TheMedJack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Richie openly stares at the angelic man before him, nearly convinced he’s stepped into a fantasy.</p><p>Eddie's face now sits directly before Richie’s, the latter frozen in place as he soaks in every last detail. They’d been this close dozens of times in recent past, but not with Eddie’s eyes locked so fucking intensely with his own, their bodies so damn close that Richie could feel his shallow breaths on his bare neck. Not while both of them are remotely aware of the other’s intentions after last night’s texts.</p><p>Not like this…</p><p><em>Never</em> like this.</p><p>[A scene from the Take Two SMAU on Twitter, taking place between updates 452 and 453.]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Take Two AU [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>144</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Would It Be So Backwards</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Tomorrow is the 5 month anniversary of this SMAU, and let me just say that I had absolutely NO CLUE how intricate the story would get and that I'd still be writing it in October!!! 😭 When I first started writing it, I expected 10 MAYBE 20 people to read it.....so to see how many people have become invested in this story as it went on has been so fucking WILD to me!!!!! The amount of support and kindness I've received from you all....especially within the last few weeks (And TONIGHT!!! 🥺💘)....is honestly hard to wrap my head around but it means the WORLD to me!! So thank you thank you thank you and I'm so happy to hear you've enjoyed this little story so far 🐶❤</p><p>I put way too many hours and nights into this one but I REALLY wanted to make it special. I've been waiting so long to share this with you all and I can't believe we're finally here!! I really hope you all like it!! 🌇✨</p><p>Just like the others, this piece is from the twitter smau Take Two (@beepbeepjess) but can also be read as a standalone.</p><p>Happy reading!!!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A loud alarm blares.</p><p>Richie wakes, gradually stirring in his bed before noticing the slight twinge of dryness in his throat. He hunches forward, still laying on his side, and coughs into one hand while loosely clutching his abdomen with the other. A dull ache still resides in his back from the previous day, flaring up when Richie stretches and sits up. </p><p>“Fuck,” Richie groans as he shifts against his ruffled sheets. </p><p>The man haphazardly scrambles to slam a fist down on his wailing alarm clock, sighing with relief when the noise finally cuts off. He lets his head tiredly slump forward until his face hits the mattress with a muffled thud. Without looking up, Richie extends a hand and repeatedly prods the nightstand with an open palm until he finally manages to hook a finger around the frames of his glasses. </p><p>What fucking time is it?</p><p>Slipping on his glasses, Richie cranes his neck to peer at the clock. Another groan builds in his throat when he spots its bright red numbers glaring back at him, which display the ungodly hour of 6:45 in the morning. </p><p>Fuck that.</p><p>And fuck whatever flu shit he most definitely still has.</p><p>There’s a sharp pain behind his eyes that comes in waves, he still can’t breathe well through his nose and, judging by the way he feels the need to down an entire gallon of water in one go, Richie’s dry throat isn’t much better. But even so, he’s not gonna complain. Not when the chills and hot flashes that racked his body last night dwindled down to nothing but a mild discomfort upon waking this morning. Richie is actually starting to feel like a functioning human again, compared to yesterday-</p><p>Yesterday.</p><p>...Holy fucking shit. </p><p>
  <em>Yesterday.</em>
</p><p>Heart pounding as a sudden recollection of the previous night’s texts washes over him, Richie flails beneath the covers and scrambles for his phone beside the bed. He hastily unlocks it, stomach twisting and jaw clenching, before opening his most recent texts with Eddie. The words on his screen are like a slap to the face.</p><p>Eddie taking care of him…</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <strong>im all sick and gross i know you dont wanna be near me right now</strong>
  </p>
</div><strong>No, that’s not true.</strong><p>
  <strong>I do.</strong>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <strong>you hate germs</strong>
  </p>
</div><strong>You’re more important.</strong><p>The fucking fever…</p><p>
  <strong>Are you sure? I don't think you’ll worry him by asking for help when you need it.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Maybe he can bring you more medicine?</strong>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <strong>no dont my hearts going 💓💗💓💗💓💗💓💗 he’ll hear it</strong>
  </p>
</div>...And what happened after.<div>
  <p>
    <strong>depends on what you define as important, but i might have a few. do you have any secrets like that?</strong>
  </p>
</div><strong>Yes.</strong><div>
  <p>
    <strong>oh yeah?</strong>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <strong>what kind of secret</strong>
  </p>
</div><strong>The kind that makes my heart go 💗💓💗💓💗💓💗💓</strong><p><strong>But it seems like you know a thing or two about those already.</strong> </p><p>Every word, every text. All of them typed and sent in a flurry as Richie’s hands grew sweatier and fingers felt shakier. He remembered how dizzy he felt, even while laying flat on his bed. How his bedroom swirled when his deep and rapid breaths started to deprive him of enough oxygen, and how his chest constricted so tightly with panic he could barely breathe. And being as sick as he was sure didn’t help with that, either. </p><p>...But it wasn't a dream.</p><p>It all really happened, right? This is fucking real?</p><p>Richie stares at the texts, repeatedly scrolling up and down on his screen as if he’s afraid they’ll vanish if he looks away for too long. The longer he stares, however, the more anxious he feels. These really are legit, then? Not another fucked-up fever dream that he’ll forget when he finally wakes? Richie checks his group chat and, sure enough, the screenshots are there, too. </p><p>Those texts are real as dicks.</p><p> And if those texts are all real, that could only mean that Eddie...it’d mean that he...</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>No, it couldn't be. Richie must've just read the context entirely wrong.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">Or maybe he didn’t.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Maybe Eddie really does feel the same way…</p>
</div><span class="big">Eddie isn’t into dudes, dipshit. He clearly doesn’t.</span><div>
  <p>
    <em>Richie.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But what about the groupchat? They all seem to think that Eddie <em>does!</em></p>
</div><span class="small">Don’t get your fucking hopes up again.</span><div>
  <p>
    <em>You’re spiraling, Richie.</em>
  </p>
</div>Don't put yourself through this <em>again</em>.<div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">Well maybe Eddie might-</span>
  </p>
</div><span class="big">Eddie might what? Might’ve realized something new about himself?</span><div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">...Yes.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>You need to count, Richie. Start counting and start over every time you feel it coming back.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>1...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>2-</em>
  </p>
</div><span class="big">The only thing you’ll be counting are the seconds you have left before you go and fuck this all up.</span><p>
  <span class="big">Is that what you want?</span>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">No, I don’t fucking want that! But Eddie said he won’t leave me, even if I fuck things up.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I know you can do it, Richie.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>1...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>2...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>3...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>4-</em>
  </p>
</div><span class="big">Is that fucking worth it? Taking that chance?</span><div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">Yes.</span>
  </p>
</div>Wrong answer. You could lose him forever.<div>
  <p>I won’t lose him, asshole.</p>
</div><span class="small">What if you’re wrong?</span><div>
  <p>
    <span class="big">I’ve already lost too much time with him as it is and I will <em>never</em> let that happen again.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>There you go, Richie. Now count again.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>1...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>2...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>3...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>4...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>5...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>6...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>7-</em>
  </p>
</div><span class="small">You can’t control that. He could leave whenever he wants to.</span><div>
  <p>
    <span class="big">If that’s what he wants, I’d let him.</span>
  </p>
</div>But that’s not what you want.<div>
  <p>No, it isn’t…</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I want him to stay.</p>
</div>And do you really think he would?<div>
  <p>Yes.</p>
</div>Even after he finds out how you feel about him?<div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">Yes…</span>
  </p>
</div><span class="big">Even after he starts looking at you differently once he realizes you’ve probably fantasized about him?</span><div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">Shut your fucking mouth.</span>
  </p>
</div><span class="big">I’m just looking out for you.</span><p>
  <span class="big">I’m protecting you from yourself, since we both know you’re incapable of doing so.</span>
</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">I don’t need your help.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>I don’t <em>want</em> it-</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Don’t stop, Richie. Keep trying.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>1…</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>2-</em>
  </p>
</div>He could be lying, Richie. I’m saving you the heartbreak.<div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">What do you mean?</span>
  </p>
</div>He could be leading you on.<div>
  <p>
    <span class="small">No, that’s not true. You’re the one who's lying.</span>
  </p>
</div>You don’t know that.<div>
  <p>Yes I do, you fucking bitch!</p>
</div>You can't know for sure, he could be saying those things because he's your best friend, not because he-<div>
  <p>Fuck you! You don’t know that either!</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Don’t give up. Try again.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>1...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>2...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>3...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>4...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>5-</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eddie said that me being gay doesn’t change the way he thinks of me. He’s <em>not</em> going to be angry with me, he’s-</p>
</div>But what about the-<div>
  <p><em>-not</em> going to leave me. He said he never wants to lose me again.</p>
</div><span class="small">You don’t-</span><div>
  <p>
    <span class="big">Eddie said he’d never do anything to hurt me and I fucking trust him.</span>
  </p>
</div><span class="small">You’re making a mistake.</span><div>
  <p>
    <span class="big">The only mistake I made was letting myself believe your bullshit for so long.</span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <span class="big">I won’t let it happen again.</span>
  </p>
</div><span class="small">But he-</span><div>
  <p>
    <span class="big">I didn’t ask for your fucking opinion. I won’t let you take this sunrise away from us.</span>
  </p>
</div><span class="small">...Don’t say I didn’t warn you.</span><div>
  <p>
    <span class="big">No need to. Now <em>fuck off.</em></span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>That’s it, Richie. Come down, deep breaths, count again.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>1...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>2...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>3...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>4...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>5...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>6...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>7...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>8...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>9...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>10.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Good job, Richie. You did so well.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I’m so proud of you.</em>
  </p>
</div>Richie’s fight to return to the present is a slow, uphill battle that drains him immensely. His breaths are ragged and his head is swaying by the time his surroundings come back into focus. Scanning the room for something, <em>anything</em> to latch onto through the panic, Richie eventually spots what he’s searching for.<p>There’s a soft, pastel light growing brighter behind the blinds. One that floods his room with a faint yet cathartic sense of <em>warmth</em> that Richie desperately clings to for comfort. </p><p>It’s grounding to welcome that familiar glow into his room. To watch in unbothered silence as it tenderly washes away Richie’s worries like the trail of ocean waves against the sand. He feels lighter with every breath, eyes trained on the blinds as the light behind them only grows in intensity. The knowledge of what waits for him beyond his window is what gives Richie the strength to rise from his bed. Eddie’s waiting for him, after all, and Richie promised he wouldn’t be late.</p><p>They have a sunrise to watch. </p><p><em>Don’t let it win, don’t overthink it,</em> Richie instructs himself while yanking back the covers and throwing his legs over the side of the bed. <em>Just go to him.</em></p><p>A creaking door, muffled footsteps, a humming heater.</p><p>Every sound strikes Richie with the force of a gunshot, electrifying his body in nervous jolts. And yet, even against the heavy silence, none of them can compare to the frantic, racing drums of his heart. Open palm pressing harshly against his chest, Richie attempts to steady his breathing as he steps beyond the safety of his bedroom.</p><p>But then, another distant sound.</p><p>One so strong it’s suddenly all that Richie can hear. It guides him forward, like sunlight breaking through a dense fog, and Richie follows it willingly. He’d follow it forever if he could, knowing it would never lead him astray or bring him harm. That Richie would always be able to look to it for courage, for reassurance, for security, for love.</p><p>No other voice brings Richie such comfort than the way Eddie’s does.</p><p>
  <em>Just go to him, he’s waiting for you.</em>
</p><p>With an anxious, heavy exhale, Richie rounds the corner and spots Eddie near the glass sliding door beside the balcony. The man stands with his back towards Richie, still dressed in his loose Starfleet t-shirt and plaid pajama pants from the previous night. He shifts his weight between both feet as he basks in the soft glow of sunlight. </p><p>Richie finds himself caught in a trance, choosing not to move in favor of witnessing Eddie in such a relaxed and natural state. Eddie’s holding something in his arms, Richie realizes, but he can’t discern what it is until he hears an all too familiar squeak from across the room.</p><p>Leia. </p><p>Eddie chuckles, warm and gentle, and Richie is struck with a love so fierce it nearly knocks him to his knees.  </p><p>“I think you did a great job, princess,” Eddie coos, lightly bouncing the puppy cradled in his arms as if she was a real baby. He sways, slow and delicate, the shadow cast behind him gliding across the floor with grace.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Is there a word for something more than just love?</em>
  </p>
</div>Eddie throws a quick glance to the side and chuckles again. Richie silently follows his gaze and spots a full laundry basket resting on its side, its contents messily dragged out onto the floor by who Richie could only presume was Leia. Towels lay crumpled where they stretch along the hardwood and dish rags pile together sloppily, hanging halfway out of the basket.<p>It’s just one huge <em>mess</em>, yet all Eddie does is laugh.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Is there a way to convey such raw, unspoken longing? The kind you don’t even know is there at first because it just feels so natural? So second-nature? So in-tune with the thrums of your steadfast heart that it feels like it’s always been there, that it’s a part of you?</em>
  </p>
</div>“Do you like being my little helper, lovebug?” Eddie asks sweetly, and Richie doesn't need to see his face to know he's smiling, “I love it when you help me. You’re the best girl.”<div>
  <p>
    <em>No, there are no words. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>But this is what it feels like, it must be.</em>
  </p>
</div>Leia whimpers in reply, squirming between Eddie’s careful hands until she adjusts and settles back in. “Shit, is it that obvious that I’m freaking the fuck out right now?” Eddie asks in a voice that’s noticeably tenser than the soft ones he’d used just moments prior. “I’m sorry, Leia. I just don’t want to mess this up.”<div>
  <p>
    <em>That makes two of us, Eds.</em>
  </p>
</div>“I care so much about him.”<div>
  <p>
    <em>I could say that back to you every day for the rest of my life, my one, and it’d never be enough. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>What I feel for you, my only, weighs so much more than what any words can carry.</em>
  </p>
</div>“I can’t imagine my life without him.”<div>
  <p>
    <em>I can, and I know you can too, dearest, because we both lived it.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>But isn’t it good that we have to imagine it? To live in the version of our story where we don’t stay awake at night wondering if things could’ve been different? If things could be better?</em>
  </p>
</div>“But whatever happens, sweet pea, it’s gonna be okay. It has to be.”<div>
  <p>
    <em>Yes, it’s going to be okay.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Because you’re here, because I’m here. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Because I’ve looked upon a stranger and whispered, kneeling low on shattered bones and broken hearts, that he doesn’t need to starve. That no love is too precious or too delicate, that he’s allowed to want. To take. That there’s no reason for hunger when he can rise for himself and nobody else, that he can not just walk, but run towards what he knows can sate it. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>That he can be free to love you, in this timeline and the next, because Eddie, my love, you know this stranger. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I’m him and he’s me, so I guess, in a way, we were never strangers at all.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>In a way, I think we were always destined.</em>
  </p>
</div>“I think so, too,” Richie finally utters, his dry and cracking voice cutting through the silence with finesse.<p>Eddie whips around, jaw dropped and eyes wide, as Richie watches the realization gradually dawn on his face that he hadn’t been alone. It’s hard to tell against the brightening light behind Eddie’s silhouette, but Richie swears he can see the slightest tinge of pink on the man’s face. </p><p>His heart jumps, a wild flutter of apprehensive hope.</p><p>Leia wriggles excitedly when she spots Richie from across the room, letting out a string of high-pitched yips and cries in greeting. Still dazed from being caught so off-guard, Eddie wordlessly crouches down to set Leia loose. Once her paws hit the ground, the puppy bolts directly towards Richie as he quickly bends over to meet her at his feet. </p><p>“Good morning, baby girl,” Richie laughs happily, scratching behind Leia’s perked ears, “I heard you were a good helper for your dad, that’s such a good girl!”</p><p>Once Leia is satisfied with the many pets her father offers, she pleasantly shakes off and hops away in search of her favorite chew toy. Richie watches her go, beaming to himself, before standing upright. His left knee pops halfway up and draws out a breathy curse as Richie stumbles over to grasp the wall. Eddie’s head falls forward to stifle an amused chuckle, and Richie can’t help but smile back at him through the dull, throbbing aches in his leg. </p><p>Sometimes, Eddie makes him forget how much they’ve aged. </p><p>Richie sees it on his face when he grins, hears it in his laughter, feels it when Eddie grabs his hand and gives it a caring squeeze. A sparkle in the eyes, a softness in his voice. Moments when he holds his posture in a way that is just so familiar and so <em>Eddie</em> that Richie can’t even explain it.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Twenty-seven years or twenty-seven minutes, it makes no difference to me. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>In my eyes, you’ve always been beautiful.</em>
  </p>
</div>Eddie watches in amused silence as Richie hobbles his way over towards the window. They’re eye-to-eye moments later, just inches apart, and staring at each other like nothing else has ever mattered.<p>“Hi,” Eddie breathes. </p><p>“Hi yourself.” Richie’s voice is tense with an anticipation that’s either terrifying or thrilling. He’s not quite sure which. </p><p>Falling silent, Richie stares into Eddie’s widened eyes as he tries to decipher what could possibly be racing through that little Spaghetti head of his. But before Richie can gamble a guess, Eddie interrupts his efforts and abruptly stalks away. The man snatches something off the table and returns with a thermometer in hand, sliding one of the thin plastic covers over the tip. </p><p>“Open,” Eddie utters softly. His tone and expression are equally neutral as he raises the thermometer up towards Richie’s mouth. </p><p>Richie obliges, knowing better than to challenge the request, but not until after he flaunts an exaggerated roll of his eyes. Eddie swats his shoulder and elicits a playful chuckle, which only earns the man another swat and an order to stop squirming around. Richie winks as he closes his mouth around the device and tries to hide his smile when it’s Eddie’s turn to roll his eyes.</p><p>Adorable.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” Eddie questions, his expression laced with genuine concern despite his playfully annoyed demeanor. </p><p>Richie raises one hand to offer a so-so gesture and mumbles while trying to keep his lips sealed around the sensor.</p><p>“Idiot,” Eddie breathes, not bothering to hide the quick flash of upturned lips on his face. Nonetheless, he ponders Richie’s response and offers a thoughtful nod, staring at the thermometer as he waits for a telltale beep. The device sounds moments later, and Eddie removes it with a gentle tug before reading the display. “Ninety-nine point four, that’s much better,” Eddie notes in a relieved tone, “What were you trying to say?” </p><p>“That I feel like I was eaten and shat out by a bear with IBS,” Richie remarks with another pointed wink towards Eddie, “Which I’d surprisingly still consider to be an improvement from yesterday.” </p><p>“Nevermind, I regret asking.” Eddie laughs, and Richie relishes the way the man’s tone doesn’t match his words. It’s such a subtle trait for Eddie to have, one he might not even realize is there, but Richie adores it. The sides of him that tease Richie relentlessly, the sides that flood him with bouts of endless affection, the sides that are ferociously brave yet equally as gentle and patient. And the times those sides overlap.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>All that we share between us?</em>
  </p>
</div>It doesn’t matter which side of Eddie he sees, for Richie knows he will always love and be loved by each and every one.<div>
  <p>
    <em>It’s unconditional, darling.</em>
  </p>
</div>Richie beams.<p>“So my fever’s pretty much gone.” </p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>“What do I win?” Richie inquires in a joking tone, peering down at Eddie with a widening smile. He expects the man to roll his eyes, to scoff, to throw another swat at Richie’s shoulder in annoyance. And yet, he does nothing of the sort.</p><p>In fact, Eddie does nothing at all.</p><p>Richie frowns as his friend’s demeanor shifts entirely, a sight that wipes the smile off his face in an instant. Eddie suddenly stands much taller, back straightened and deliberate, with his shoulders pushed back and arms pressed down at his sides. His chin angles upwards, his nostrils flare, and Richie swears the man stops blinking altogether. </p><p>Eyes trained on Richie, Eddie hesitantly slides one foot forward, then another. </p><p>Sunlight breaches past the city’s heights as Eddie takes his final step and slips beneath it. Dim, distant rays reach the pair and envelop Richie with the rattled sense of entering a liminal space, the light vivid enough to see but also dark enough to feel like the cusp of a dream. Warm colors pool against Eddie’s hair and skin, a soft December glow that tints the room in deep magenta. </p><p>Richie openly stares at the angelic man before him, nearly convinced he’s stepped into a fantasy.</p><p>Eddie's face now sits directly before Richie’s, the latter frozen in place as he soaks in every last detail. They’d been this close dozens of times in recent past, but not with Eddie’s eyes locked so fucking intensely with his own, their bodies so damn close that Richie could feel his shallow breaths on his bare neck. Not while both of them are remotely aware of the other’s intentions after last night’s texts.</p><p>Not like this…</p><p><em>Never</em> like this.</p><p>Eddie hesitates. Takes a breath, bites his lip, fidgets back-and-forth on his feet repeatedly. Richie eyes him, lost, only to gawk when Eddie stares back at him as though he’s found. At such a sight, the playful shine in Richie’s eyes is gone and he watches with intent purpose, completely transfixed. Richie doesn’t catch the flicker of movement at his side, however, a majority of his focus split between trying to stand still and remembering to breathe. </p><p>But how the hell can he breathe in a silence this weighted?</p><p>A stillness this delicate is meant to be treasured, stuffed away in pockets for the times life gets too loud. Moments like this, when a single, wordless stare from Eddie is enough to keep him tethered to what’s real. </p><p>To what’s right in front of him. </p><p>Eddie’s hand is drifting upwards now, splayed and hovering just over Richie’s cheek. Something exceedingly strong jolts down Richie's back at the realization and draws out a shiver. It’s an enticing sensation he can’t put into words but, whatever it is, he’s hungry for more just like it. Richie, anyhow, remains unmoving despite the growing urge, determined to let Eddie set the pace towards whatever the fuck happens next. </p><p>With widened, fearful eyes that harbor a glint of something more, Eddie's gaze darts between his frozen hand and Richie’s faintly-flushed cheeks.</p><p>A moment passes, a steady breath. </p><p>Then, Eddie drifts his hand to gingerly caress Richie’s face. He stares at where they touch, as if trying to internalize the image in his mind forever. Richie watches Eddie do so and feels electrified by the contact. Every passing second is like a hundred years, and keeping still for so long makes Richie feel like he’s going to vibrate out of his fucking skin. </p><p>Even so, he waits.</p><p>“Is this okay?” Eddie whispers, mouth falling slightly open as he guides his thumb in tight circles for emphasis.</p><p>All Richie can do is clench his jaw and bring himself to nod. </p><p>Richie knows it must only be seconds that pass, but it feels like minutes before Eddie finally tears his gaze from the flushed cheek beneath his open palm. The man then dares a look towards Richie, his eyes gleaming with a wild fascination as he mirrors the exact same path with his other hand. “What about this?”</p><p>Richie stutters under the caring touch and feels his heart leap upon spotting the small smile nudging its way onto Eddie’s lips. He wears an expression of growing confidence that Richie’s never seen before, one that he can only interpret as, <em>Yes, this is what I want.</em> </p><p>And maybe, if Richie searches even deeper in those dark and avid eyes, <em>I found you long before, but now I fully see you and I want to look forever.</em></p><p>“Yes.” Richie shivers as he nods again. </p><p>Eddie takes the response as a cue to move again, rising up on his toes and dragging one hand down to anchor himself on Richie’s shoulder. Adrenaline coursing, Richie tilts down to meet him halfway and tentatively touch their foreheads. It isn’t until he can feel Eddie’s breath mixing with his own does Richie notice the frantic pounding in his chest. Loud, jarring beats that incites a wave of terrified excitement, a feeling so intense that it becomes the only thing that grounds him when Eddie shifts again. </p><p>Their noses brush and the world around them fades away, swallowed by the swift sunrise. A deep, controlled exhale falls from Eddie’s mouth at the contact, like he’s trying to calm a steadily-racing heart. </p><p>Join the fucking club.</p><p>“And this?” Eddie questions with equal warmth as he glides a hand through Richie’s unkempt hair. The subtle gesture draws a loud chuckle from the pair when Eddie knocks Richie’s glasses askew in the process. </p><p>“Mhm,” Richie hums through a growing smile, suddenly at ease, “More than okay.” </p><p>“Yeah?” Eddie asks, a new flicker of something hopeful in his voice, mimicking the same movement of his fingers through Richie’s hair for a second time. A smile of his own appears when Richie sighs, eyes fluttering partway shut. </p><p>Something changes in Eddie moments later, the shift so sudden Richie doesn’t even need to open his eyes to sense it. Eddie notably tenses against him, the man’s loose grasp on his shoulder and hair tightening by a meager fraction. He can feel Eddie’s breaths growing quicker, more shallow, as he wills himself to speak. </p><p>“Eds?” Richie asks, the sudden uncertainty in his voice trivial but present nonetheless. </p><p>“Richie, I-“ Eddie starts, mouth hanging open as he desperately searches for the words that will never come. </p><p>But Richie understands. </p><p>He understands <em>exactly</em> what that feels like. </p><p>“Rich,” Eddie says with a near-gasp, his tone laced with an intricate layer of energized urgency. Richie holds his breath as Eddie loosens his grip, then tightens it again. Shifts his weight between his feet once, then twice. Blinks, blinks again. Brushes their noses so they graze in such a way that the pair releases a mutual, trembling breath of anticipation. </p><p>And then, under the serene silence of the slowly-waking city, Eddie gently presses his lips to Richie’s, sealing a feather-light kiss filled with thirty years of words left unspoken.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I’ll spell it out as many ways as you need me too. I’ll write it out for you every day for the rest of our lives.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I’m yours, if you’ll have me.</em>
  </p>
</div>Richie inhales sharply through his nose, body igniting with a warmth so intense that it rivals the sun’s. The need to stay frozen where he stands is instantly replaced with an urge to touch, to feel, and Richie does so with undivided attention. Hands shooting up, Richie desperately grabs the first of Eddie he can find. He doesn’t pull or push, but simply <em>holds</em> as he wraps a firm hand around Eddie’s shoulder and waist.<p>Eddie melts under Richie’s grasp and his tension with it, their lips slotting in place once, twice, then again. Richie never wants to stop, he’s waited long enough for this as it is, but shit, he needs to fucking <em>breathe</em>. He pulls back first, out-of-breath and eyes as wide as they’ll go, overcome with such a rush that he is, for maybe the first time in his life, truly lost for words.</p><p>Gaping, Richie finally meets Eddie’s eyes, which blatantly mirror his own.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I love you.</em>
  </p>
</div>Cheeks tinged a deep pink and mouth hanging ajar, Eddie returns both hands to either side of Richie’s face. Richie stares, watching as the man’s gaze slowly morphs between expressions of shock, disbelief, and a curiosity that’s nothing less than exhilarated. But above all else, Eddie looks at him with a blatant adoration that Richie wishes he could capture in his mind for safe keeping. He wants— no, he <em>needs</em> to remember this, but something tells him this won’t be the last time Eddie looks at him like this.<p>As if able to read Richie’s mind, Eddie beams brighter than the sunrise before them.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I love you, I love you, I love you.</em>
  </p>
</div>It’s Eddie who hurriedly pulls them back into another kiss, hands gripped tightly by the seams of Richie’s shirt. Their first kiss was lighter, testing and experimentative, and nothing like their second. Now, they push and pull against each other like the tide, hands moving so quickly it feels like they’re everywhere at once.<p><em>Yes, this is it,</em> Richie senses Eddie say when he feels the man apprehensively glide his tongue across his lips, then again without any restraint. <em>This is right, it feels so right, and I’m certain of it.</em>   </p><p>Richie replies in every way he knows how. A firm squeeze to Eddie’s waist, a gentle tug on his lips with his teeth, a heavy, content sigh from the back of his throat, a stroke of his thumb across his cheek that gradually moves to his hair. Anything that would tell Eddie how much he’s <em>longed</em> for this, and how he yearns to see Eddie this awestruck forever.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I love you so fucking much, my dearest.</em>
  </p>
</div>A smack of parting lips with rapid breaths follows next and, when their eyes slowly flutter open, they laugh.<p>“Holy fuck, Eds,” Richie chuckles breathily, remembering he’s still sick when a wave of dizziness strikes. He sways on his feet and hastily latches both hands onto Eddie’s shoulders, walking them backwards until his legs hit the couch. Richie huffs when he catches a glimpse of Eddie's confused expression, not stopping his movements as he gently tugs the man closer. </p><p>Still panting, Richie haphazardly collapses against the couch and Eddie smirks, finally catching on. He patiently waits, allowing Richie to get situated, before leaning forward and placing a knee on either side of Richie’s legs. In a loose straddle, Eddie sinks down until he’s sitting comfortably atop Richie’s thighs. Richie shoots him a wide, goofy grin and Eddie bellows a laugh, throwing himself forward. </p><p>Eddie grasps at the cushions behind them, resting his arms atop Richie’s shoulders as he presses their foreheads back together. Time finally slows, and they both let it. Eddie’s eyes fall shut as they dwell together in a static silence, their ragged breaths lulling them back to reality. “Shit, Richie,” Eddie says, the man beneath him shuddering at the sound of his name, “Was it <em>that</em> good?”</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Fucking shit, Eddie, yes.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Yes, yes, yes.</em>
  </p>
</div>“Don’t get cocky.” Richie huffs amusedly and raises both hands to run them along Eddie’s sides. “I’m still sick and dizzy as fuck, you gremlin,” Richie adds with a smirk, heart jumping when he draws out a shiver from the man beneath his touch, “If I’d stood up any longer I would’ve passed out.”<p>“Yeah, sure,” Eddie snickers, retracting his hands to cup Richie’s face, “Whatever you say.” </p><p>Then, an evident shift in the room. </p><p><em>He feels it too,</em> Richie thinks to himself, watching silently as Eddie leans back to peer down at him. It’s different when they lock eyes this time, their shared gaze that of a relieved elation and an overwhelming notion of <em>clarity</em>. An expression so full of love that Richie barely even recognizes it for what it is.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Of course he sees it now, but how could he before? How could he have known what to search for in Eddie’s eyes when that same look was there from the very fucking start?</em>
  </p>
</div>The dull whirr of the heater sounds through the walls as it abruptly kicks on, its low drone feeling distant and muffled by the steady silence between them.<p>“Hi,” Richie utters with a bright smile, his voice barely above a whisper. He waits for Eddie to return the same grin, just as he had all morning, but it never comes. </p><p>“Hi,” Eddie replies, expression void.</p><p>Richie frowns with concern, working desperately to shroud his rising panic. He watches wordlessly, too afraid to speak, before Eddie’s face scrunches the tiniest bit and suddenly, Richie understands. </p><p>“Richie.” Eddie’s voice cracks, eyes growing glassy. He reaches out to run an open palm through Richie’s hair and sucks in a sharp breath. Heart pounding, Richie watches as Eddie begins to blink rapidly and gingerly repeat the motions of his hand. When he finally speaks again, Eddie’s voice jumps an octave, maybe even two. Richie feels his own eyes sting with tears when Eddie’s bottom lip quivers. “Rich…”</p><p>The way Eddie’s looking at him... </p><p><em>Fuck.</em> </p><p>“I know,” Richie mouths, throat clenching with a whisper of a whisper, “Eddie, I-“</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>The things I’ve dreamt of telling you, my love, they’re endless. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>You’ve seen me like no other. Broken down to fragile seams, some frayed and damaged beyond repair. You saw me in this weakened state and yet you stayed like it was never a question in your mind. You looked at me, my one, and asked to build a home with me out of the scraps we left behind. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Shattered windows, broken fixtures. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Floors that creak and wail under the weight of the world. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Any other would have replaced those parts, you know. Tossed them away without a second thought, and with them a part of me I’d lost along a lonely, forgotten road. But you’re not like them, my only, for you caught those pieces that slipped from my fingers and carried them on your back until I could again.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>You’d carry me forever if I asked. But darling, please know, I’d do the same for you.</em>
  </p>
</div>“<em>I know</em>, Eds,” Richie repeats, hands fiercely gripping Eddie’s shoulders as he tries to convey so fucking much in a single glance. And Eddie can read them, Richie <em>knows</em> he can, when he spots a few quick nods of understanding before the man’s composure finally breaks.<p>Tears begin to fall. </p><p>Eddie makes no move to catch them, so Richie does for him. Holding his breath, Richie guides his open palms to either side of Eddie’s face, using his thumbs to tenderly wipe away the tears as they spill. They keep coming, Eddie seemingly oblivious, as he focuses entirely running his hand through Richie’s hair. </p><p>Every wipe of a thumb along Eddie’s cheek, every twirl of a pointed finger through Richie’s messy curls. Every touch, every look, every breath. New, yet strikingly familiar gestures that amount to an endless number of <em>I’m here</em>’s and even more <em>I’m home</em>’s. </p><p><em>That’s exactly how it fucking feels</em>, Richie notes to himself when Eddie surges forward, still crying, and crashes his tear-stained lips back over his own, <em>Home.</em></p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I’ve loved you for as long as I’ve known you. But my dear, my sweetest love, I’ve always known you, and I always will. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>When you look into my heart you see all of me. Not just the good sides, but the bad ones, too. You don’t try to fix me, you don’t try to replace what’s broken or undesirable. You see me for who I am and love me regardless. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>We’re imperfect, my love, but that’s what makes you and me so fucking perfect.</em>
  </p>
</div>Eddie shifts above Richie, their figures painted with a bright golden-orange as the sun begins to peer above the buildings beyond. Pushing himself closer, Eddie only parts for a short breath of air before slotting their lips together again. It’s wonderfully frantic, the way they’re moving now. Hungry and restless, like they both <em>need</em> it. Richie can’t help but moan into it as he leans forward to meet Eddie’s advance.<p>“Fuck,” Richie curses, growing dizzy again as the room spins and his head pounds. He pulls himself back and theatrically tosses an arm over his glasses. “Okay, slow down, I think I’m really gonna pass out this time, Eds…”</p><p>Eddie, that turd, fucking <em>giggles</em> as he slowly backs away, and it might just be the most pleasant sound Richie’s ever heard. Tears still stream down Eddie’s flushed and blotchy face, but he beams through it anyways. <em>Beautiful,</em> Richie thinks as he catches his breath and the room around him becomes less of a blur. Eddie must hear it somehow, for his smile grows wider and Richie gawks back, elated, as he feels his composure start to slip. </p><p>“You know what?” </p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“If this is what I get for feeling better,” Richie sniffs, flashing a delicate smile just as the first tears spill down his face, “I think I should start getting sick way more often.”</p><p>Eddie’s eyebrows pinch at the way Richie’s voice cracks and jumps to an even higher in octave. They’ve seen each other in their weakest moments, torn down to the barest layers of their strife, yet this moment provides a new sense of vulnerability that makes Richie’s throat clench. He’s never felt a trust like this, a devotion as comforting and healing and <em>palpable</em> as this. </p><p>And it’s fucking astounding.</p><p>Eddie must feel it too, for he drives forward once more, sealing his lips against Richie’s with an even lighter touch than their first. The kiss itself, however, is barely one at all as they smile into it, laughing together in sweet, melodic hums.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Look at us, sweetheart.</em>
  </p>
</div>Their hair is ruffled and wild, and there’s a mix of each other’s tears on their faces with smears of saliva by their mouths. Richie’s sick, his nose is running, this is gross, this is <em>gross</em>, <em>they’re</em> gross, and Richie waits for Eddie to say so. But he never does.<div>
  <p>
    <em>What a lovely mess we’ve made.</em>
  </p>
</div>Eddie runs his hands along the back of Richie’s head, gliding them down until they come to rest atop Richie’s shoulders. Somewhere in the distance, the sunrise brightens and the room pools with a comforting, yellow-white glow. Dull rumbles of traffic start to grow louder. Tiny pit-pats of scampering paws echo across the hardwood floor and bounce off the walls.<p>And yet, Richie can’t bring himself to look away, not even for a moment. </p><p>“Richie,” Eddie huffs as they part. </p><p>“Yeah, Eds?” Ignoring the smudges of drying tears on his lenses, Richie blinks expectantly. </p><p>“I think we did all of this a little backwards,” Eddie confesses sheepishly as he shifts back-and-forth on his knees, wincing with soreness but grinning warmly nonetheless. </p><p>“I thought that too, at first.” Richie half-smiles, a look that’s almost bittersweet.</p><p>“But not now?” </p><p>“I think we did almost everything in order,” Richie explains as his smile goes soft. His voice drops noticeably in volume and sinks to a low but steady murmur. “We’re just a couple of dumbasses who took way too fucking long to piece it all together.” </p><p>A pair of laughs fill the room as the world beyond it starts to speed up, but neither Richie nor Eddie pay mind. They can slow down and take as much time as they want. Because now? They have nothing but time.  </p><p>“Sounds like us,” Eddie remarks lightly, his tone teasing. </p><p>“Heh, yeah. It does.” </p><p>Eddie’s expression falls, however, as their sounds of laughter die down. “So.”</p><p>“Ugh, not this ‘so’ crap again.”</p><p>“<em>So</em>,” Eddie snaps with his eyebrows raised in warning, “I have a question, then.” </p><p>“Oh...” Richie utters, frowning nervously, “Okay, shoot.”</p><p>Heaving a sigh, Eddie leans back enough to maneuver a leg over the man’s lap. With a stiff groan, he sinks into the cushion beside Richie, knees nudging up against the man’s thigh. They take a moment to settle, easily slipping back into their tender moment. “Would it be so backwards,” Eddie nearly whispers, angling himself forwards as he locks his eyes on Richie’s, “To tell you that I love you?”</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>No, it wouldn’t.</em>
  </p>
</div>And with those words, whatever form of composure Richie managed to cling to crumples to dust in his hands.<div>
  <p>
    <em>I don’t think that’d be backwards at all, my dear, not when we’re like this. Now that I’ve seen you. Now that I’ve heard you. You staring at me, and I at you. Gazing at each other like we always have and realizing that the gleam always present in your eyes is so much more than a simple reflection of my own.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I love you.</em>
  </p>
</div>Tears Richie thought he’d never have the chance to cry blur his vision so quickly that he thinks he's lost his glasses. But no, they’re still here, Richie can feel them pinch against his face when he surges towards Eddie and flings his weight over his love’s shoulders. He wants to <em>talk</em>, there’s so fucking <em>much</em> he wants to say, but his throat is closing up and there’s no room for words between his sharp gasps for air.<div>
  <p>
    <em>I love you.</em>
  </p>
</div>Eddie jumps in surprise at the sudden movement. He tenses, hands braced on Richie’s upper arms as he tries to push back and see the man’s face. When Richie doesn’t let him, Eddie stills. Minutes pass, hushed and prolonged, before Riche’s constricting grasp finally begins to loosen, the tension in his hold vanishing as he cries against Eddie.<div>
  <p>
    <em>I love you.</em>
  </p>
</div>It isn’t until Richie’s sobs begin to subside that he hears a familiar voice. It’s Eddie’s and it’s right beside his ear, murmuring the same short phrase again and again and again and again. <em>It’s real,</em> Richie discovers with a startled gasp, <em>It’s not in my head at all and he’s saying it back.</em><p>“I love you.”</p><p>And Richie just holds him.</p><p>“I love you, Rich.”</p><p>He holds his love fucking tight. </p><p>“I love you so damn much.”</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>All this time, all those nights.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>You really did mean it the same way I did.</em>
  </p>
</div>“Fuck, Eds.” Clinging to Eddie like a lifeline, Richie sucks in an overly-deep breath, then another. Eddie can sense him trying to calm down and proceeds to run splayed hands along his back in encouragement. In all that time, his professions never cease, every word a whisper that propels Richie’s frail heart towards the clouds. “Shit, I can’t see-”<p>A soft chuckle by his ear. </p><p>“Come here, dummy.” </p><p>Caught up in his stifling cries, Richie fails to even notice when Eddie gingerly wraps a hand around his glasses and slides them off. The frames return to their place just moments later, wiped clean from the messy splotches of handprints and tears. Richie blinks, pulling back and huffing a breath when he can finally make out every exquisite detail of Eddie's face under the morning sun.</p><p>Radiant. </p><p>“...Richie?” Eddie asks with a strong tone of worry in his voice. The man’s eyes are wide and staring back at him, probably at the sight of Richie’s red, puffy cheeks and bloodshot eyes.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Sorry for the mess, darling, but I know you won't mind. Not when you hear what I need to say, what I’ve waited to say since the start.</em>
  </p>
</div>Richie’s desperation grows stronger by the second, a raw, relentless need to say the words he thought would never leave his lips until his final breath. “Eddie, my love,” Richie says firmly, <em>urgently</em>, his cracking voice a mix between a laugh and a cry, “My heart is yours.”<p>Eddie’s eyes grow wide at the new meaning behind the old nickname, lips pressing tightly together as if he’s holding back another rush of tears. “Rich…” </p><p>Richie sniffs, flashing a grin as his own tears continue to stream across his flushed cheeks. He pauses briefly to take in the moment before him, a prolonged inhale and exhale, knowing it’s one he’ll want to remember for the rest of his days. Richie swears he’s never felt lighter when the words finally slip past his grinning lips. “I love you too, Eddie.”</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I love you, I love you, I love you.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I know this is the first for us as one but it probably isn’t the first for you alone, just as it isn’t for me. I’ve yelled it in my mind more times than I can count, my eyes trained on you as you stand beside me, oblivious. I’ve told it in every touch I’ve ever shared with you, from the gentle brush of my fingertips against yours, to every embrace during those dark, late nights sprawled out on our beds. A firm squeeze of the shoulder, a shy smile from across the room, a hand through the hair as a greeting. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>But sweetheart, my first? </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>My first belongs to another time, one where summer days were filled with building clubhouses in secret and racing against the wind along cracked pavement. I didn’t fully understand it then, who I was or why I felt the way I did. But when it came to you, my love, I never questioned it. I never once questioned why I walked alone to that wooden bridge, pulled out a knife, and carved the two letters that tied us together long after my memories of us vanished like smoke. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>But now I remember, and now I know for certain. I loved you then as I love you now, just as I’ll always love you. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Comforting to think about, isn't it?</em>
  </p>
</div>Eddie’s mouth falls open, but shuts as a subtle furrow appears on his brow. He wordlessly scans Richie’s face as if searching for an answer he can’t quite put a question to. Lips forming a tight line when his attempt is unsuccessful, Eddie lets his head fall. He stares at Richie’s hand, considering, wondering. Richie sees what he’s thinking now, and as Eddie begins to slide his own hand forwards, Richie opens a palm to intertwine their fingers. Eddie sighs at the contact and runs a gentle thumb along his skin.<p>“How long?” He asks.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I know there was a time before you. But the times I thought of you and felt my heart race stretches back to the very beginning, my dear. We were young, too young to know what that even meant. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>But would it be so bad if I can’t recall a time you didn’t make me feel that way?</em>
  </p>
</div>Eddie waits patiently as Richie stares back at him, expressionless. He instantly senses Richie's shift in demeanor and frowns with concern. “Rich? What’s wrong?”<p>Richie offers a squeeze of the hand and his unreadable stare softens, a quick gesture of reassurance to put Eddie's racing mind at ease. Neither of them speak as Richie adjusts his weight to the side and slips his phone from his back pocket. The sound of his fingers tapping along his screen is barely detectable, yet noticeably loud against the quiet of the room. </p><p>“Richie?” Eddie starts, intrigued but impatient with Richie’s persistent silence, “What are you-”</p><p>“You asked how long.”</p><p>“Yes? And you haven’t answered.” </p><p>“Because I’m showing you,” Richie answers plainly. He doesn’t spare a glance from his screen when Eddie leans forward by the slightest fraction and catches the man scrolling past hundreds of images in his photo gallery. </p><p>“What do you mean?” Eddie blinks, just as confused. “It was a simple question?”</p><p>Richie scoffs loudly at the notion of simplicity, head thrown back. Fucking <em>simple</em> his ass. The sound of his laughter cuts off, however, upon spotting the image he’d been searching for. He feels Eddie’s eyes on him, digging into him as he stares down at the photo with a newfound fondness. A second, steady wave of affection rises deep in his throat, so strong it knocks the air from his lungs. </p><p>“I told myself I’d never show you this,” Richie sighs with apparent disbelief, a breathy laugh falling from his parted lips as he shakes his head, still peering at the photo. “But then again I also told myself you’d never feel the same way.” </p><p>After one final appreciative glance towards the bright screen, Richie inhales, then exhales. Blinks quickly, shrugs his shoulders, nods his head in self-encouragement. Shifts nervously in his seat as a tender smile grows on his face. And then, Richie stills, flipping his phone in his hand and angling it for Eddie to see. </p><p>Eddie’s eyes glisten as he finally looks upon the photo, the faintest gasp falling from his mouth. He moves, open palms extending outwards, and gently grazes the phone’s sides with his fingertips. Minutes pass like this, Eddie gaping at the image as he tries to form words, before Richie finally tears his gaze from Eddie’s awestruck expression and looks at the photo alongside him.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>This is just for us, my love, and not a single soul besides our own. We’ll know it’s for us, we’ll know what it means, but to anybody else? A story of a nameless love that exists beyond the bounds of time. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>
      <span class="big">R + E</span>
    </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>But they don’t need to know that those letters are meant to be us. I think we deserve to have something special, something that will let me prove how much I love you in a way I and no other ever could. And perhaps, it can be a chance for us to have our own little secret. One we can share rather than hide, for once. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>How does that sound, sweetheart?</em>
  </p>
</div>“Richie,” Eddie finally speaks, hushed and hesitant, “Where is this?”<p>Richie stares back. Searching, smiling. He sees the answer plainly in Eddie’s eyes and knows the question never had to be asked. Eddie knows exactly where this is, and yet he waits. Perhaps to hear the words for himself, to hear Richie say how long he’s had eyes for Eddie out loud. And who is Richie to deny him of what he wants to hear? </p><p>“The kissing bridge in Derry,” Richie answers, gaze steady and strong, “I carved it there when we were thirteen.”</p><p>“Thirteen,” Eddie repeats. Both hands rise to rub over his face before sinking to cover his nose and mouth, “<em>Thirteen years old.</em>”</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“And you went <em>back</em>.”</p><p>“No shit I went back, how do you think I got the photo? Dumbass.”</p><p>“Fuck off,” Eddie snaps, cracking a sincere smile. He reaches up to give Richie a playful shove on the shoulder and elicits a loud snicker in return. The seconds that follow are ones full of a fierce love that gives Richie a rush of warmth despite the air’s chill. The pair slips back into silence soon after, a calm, comfortable quiet that makes their sense of nostalgia that much sweeter. </p><p>“Yes, I went back,” Richie finally replies, still smiling, “I stopped there on the drive out after we all had our goodbyes at the Townhouse. I couldn’t fucking believe it was still there after so many years, but it was right where I’d left it. It’d taken a shit ton of water damage, of course, but I re-carved it. Good as new.”</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>Kind of like us, in a way, don’t you think?</em>
  </p>
</div>“You still felt that way?” Eddie asks, voice going soft. “Even after all those years apart? After forgetting each other?”<p>“Yes and no.”</p><p>Eddie raises his eyebrows, prompting Richie to continue. </p><p>“I remembered everything from the moment I saw your cute little face at the Jade,” Richie admits with a sheepish half-smile. He tenses on instinct, bracing himself for another light shove from Eddie, but it never comes. All Eddie does is stare back with an identical expression of vigor mirrored on his face. Richie feels his cheeks grow warm at the sight and Eddie giggles under his breath. “We started throwing insults and it was like no time passed at all. You were still that same angry, loud, adorable person I loved as a kid. But also really fucking hot.” </p><p>Now it’s Eddie’s turn to blush. </p><p>Cute. </p><p>“But nobody’s exactly how they were at eighteen,” Richie explains with a small smile, “Everything about you that I remembered from childhood was still there, but now there was also this whole new person that I really, <em>really</em> wanted to get to know. And there wasn’t a lot of time to do that, you know, cause of the whole supernatural murder clown thing-”</p><p>A roll of Eddie’s eyes, another snicker from Richie. </p><p>“But I knew, from the moment I saw you, that I still loved all those older parts of you just as I had all those years ago,” Richie confesses, a glisten in his eyes, “And that’s why I went back to the bridge.”</p><p>“And now?” </p><p>“You already know.”</p><p>“Maybe I wanna hear it again.” Eddie grins and sits up on his knees to scoot close enough to latch both arms over Richie’s shoulders. Richie beams back and leans into Eddie’s gentle touch, not stopping until he plants a quick kiss on his love’s forehead. Eddie looks at Richie as though he’s a reflection, a sense of familiarity washing over him as he ponders the notion in silence. When he nods, smiling sensibly to himself, Richie knows he’s right and obliges Eddie’s request.</p><p>“As fucked up as it is to say-”</p><p>A kiss on one cheek. </p><p>“-I think there’s one good thing that came out of forgetting you-”</p><p>A kiss on the other. </p><p>“-And it’s that I got the chance to fall in love with you all over again.” </p><p>Eddie smirks and jumps back when Richie pecks him on the nose, expression gradually falling once he meets Richie’s stare. That same frown from before makes another appearance and Richie allows the man some time to form his next question in silence. “Were you, uh,” Eddie starts, clearly struggling much more with this one. “...Were you ever going to tell me?”</p><p>He deserves the truth. </p><p>“Maybe someday I guess,” Richie admits in a low murmur, “But no, not any time soon.”</p><p>“Why not? If that’s how you felt?”</p><p>“Same reason you didn’t.”</p><p>No response.</p><p>“I was so fucking happy with the sunrise I’d found, Eds,” Richie says, nearly whispering, as he refers to their texts from the previous night. Ones of clear longing mixed with a fear of losing what they both treasured most. Richie slides a hand forward to offer a comforting and grounding squeeze to Eddie’s knee. “I was already happier than I’d ever been, and I already had more than I could ever need. How the hell was I supposed to believe it could really get even <em>better</em> than that?”</p><p>Eddie nods understandingly and lightly places a hand atop Richie’s. “You would’ve given up what you wanted, because you thought I didn’t want the same?”</p><p>“In a fucking heartbeat, Eds.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t,” Eddie exhales, inching closer with discrete and subtle movements, “I thought the same way at first, but Richie, look what happened when I finally did what I wanted.”</p><p>Richie nods, his lips twitching into a troubled smile. </p><p>“Richie,” Eddie utters as he leans closer still. Richie can feel the heat of his body and subconsciously shifts so that he’s completely engulfed by it. He watches as Eddie raises a single, bent knuckle and grazes it along one of Richie’s flushed cheeks. “Show me what you want.”</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I want all of you. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I want every last piece of you, no matter how small or insignificant.</em>
  </p>
</div>Heart hammering with desire, Richie closes in and seals a kiss to Eddie’s waiting lips. It’s gentle, nearly as tender as the way they caress the other’s face in their hands. Eddie sighs into it and opens his mouth wider, pushes back a bit harder, tightens his grasp to be firmer. Richie mimics the same movements, but jumps when he feels Eddie’s tongue enter and slide along the roof of his mouth.<p>“Hey,” Eddie laughs into their next kiss, the vibrations traveling down to Richie’s stomach in a steady wave. He shudders at the pleasant sensation and dives back in for more. </p><p>“What,” Richie exhales, enamored. </p><p>“Remember when you fever-texted me and said I’m your favorite person?”</p><p>Richie huffs a laugh. He moves to sit up and, as he scoots closer on his knees, the sun casts its rays and washes over him with a pool of welcoming gold. It’s a snug, comforting sensation. Barely existent beside the glow of Eddie’s body and the intensity of his longing stare. Hands on Eddie’s shoulders, Richie slowly guides him back until the man is laid out beneath him. Richie’s head is aching, he’s getting dizzy again, and his throat is incredibly dry, but he persists nonetheless. </p><p>It’s what he wants. </p><p>“I don’t remember sending them,” Richie admits in a timid voice, taking a moment to ghost his thumb along the side of Eddie’s face. He leans down to press a chaste kiss on his cheek and evokes a deepening blush in response. “But I remember reading it later that night.”</p><p>Bringing his lips down to trace a path along Eddie’s exposed neck, Richie lets his eyes flutter shut to hone in on the sounds of Eddie’s eager responses to his motions. Trails of kisses that lead to sighs, gentle nips at junctures that elicits surprised gasps, a flick of his tongue that draws out Richie’s name in a way he’s <em>never</em> heard before. </p><p>“Yeah?” Eddie gasps tightly. “Well guess what.”</p><p>Richie curses loudly when he feels the man’s nails through his shirt as they drag along his shoulders and down his sides. </p><p>Curiosity flashes on Eddie’s face at the response, eyes widening with interest as he repeats the same movement. He goes slower this time, very attentive as he presses down just a bit harder. A brilliant smile appears when Richie all but whimpers under his touch. The sound must stir something in Eddie, for he’s suddenly kissing Richie with a newfound ferocity, still grinning when they part for shallow, quick breaths. </p><p>“What?” Richie asks between his shallow gasps for air, barely able to hold his focus on the conversation when Eddie takes his lip between his teeth. The man pulls back at the high-pitched whine that builds in Richie’s throat, a look of pride shining in his eyes. </p><p>“You’re my favorite person, too,” Eddie says in earnest, suddenly quiet and taken aback by his love for the man kneeling over him.</p><p>Richie beams in return, heart bursting with an elation he’s never before had the privilege of feeling as a single tear slips down his cheek.</p><p>Growing fatigued from his illness, Richie searches to ground himself by hastily running a hand through Eddie’s hair. His love shudders at the motion, gasping when Richie moves his open fingers against the grain and lightly tugs. Richie chuckles to himself and repeats the same movements before finding himself lost in the sight of Eddie’s hair being the messiest he’s ever seen it.</p><p>Breathtaking. </p><p>Arching his back at a particularly strong tug of his hair, Eddie probes his hands to find Richie’s waist before they gradually slide to the hem of his shirt. He pauses, locking eyes with Richie as his smile temporarily tapers, remaining where he’s frozen until Richie offers a flustered nod. </p><p>“<em>Eddie</em>,” Richie sighs deeply, shivering when he feels a pair of hands snake beneath his shirt and run along his skin. He dives down to press their foreheads together, arms aching and unable to hold his weight up any higher. </p><p>Eddie hums fervently at their closeness and glides two pressing hands through the hair on Richie’s stomach and chest. Skin-on-skin, Richie melts within seconds. He’s still so caught up on the overwhelming notion that Eddie loves him <em>back</em> and wants what <em>he</em> wants that he begins to pant and squirm where he kneels on top of Eddie. </p><p>Perking up with interest at the way Richie’s entire body reacts to his touch, Eddie gapes and nudges the man back a bit to study his expression with avid focus. He changes the patterns and motions of his hands along Richie’s front, the corners of his mouth curving upwards with every new sound he draws out. </p><p>Minutes pass like this, Richie slowly being taken apart by nothing but Eddie’s hands on his skin. </p><p>Letting curiosity overtake him, Eddie bolts upwards and explores every inch of Richie’s neck he can reach with his mouth. He lightly drags his teeth, traces lines with his tongue, and sucks with his lips, never once stopping his hands as they trace over Richie’s stomach and chest. Eddie bites back a laugh when he tries something new and Richie <em>whimpers</em> without restraint.</p><p>“<em>Oh</em>, shit-”</p><p>“You love that, don’t you?” Eddie teases in response to the delicious sound he’d drawn out of Richie. Staring with blatant wonder, Eddie ghosts both thumbs over Richie’s nipples for the second time and basks in the sight of the man’s open-mouth gasp. “You do,” Eddie notes, awestruck. </p><p>Eyes squeezed shut, bottom lip now between his teeth, Richie nods. <em>Fuck</em>, he’s getting dizzier, it’s all so fucking much at once. </p><p>“What else do you like?” Eddie ponders out loud in a tone like he’s talking to himself. Like this is all completely new to him, which it <em>is</em>, and like he’s slowly gauging what both he and Richie enjoy with everything new they try. Richie’s heart flutters with adoration over the chance to watch him explore. To know that Eddie trusts him enough to be vulnerable and open to trying it all with him. </p><p>But so far, it seems that what Eddie favors most is whatever he can do to make Richie fall apart in front of him. When Eddie reaches around to run his nails against the bare skin of Richie’s back, Richie finally crumples. </p><p>“<em>Shit,</em> Eds,” Richie exhales loudly, “<em>You’re gonna kill me</em>-” </p><p>Before Eddie can respond, the growing itch in Richie’s throat abruptly ignites and sears him like it’s on fire. He yanks himself away, hurriedly scrambling to distance himself from Eddie’s concerned face. Head buried against Eddie’s chest, Richie lets out a series of ragged coughs into his hand. A throbbing ache strikes his head with every lurch of his body and it fucking <em>hurts</em>. </p><p>Worth it, though. </p><p>Eddie’s hands find their way back to Richie’s clothed back as he hacks, body jerking, before Richie feels one of them press atop his head. Eddie runs smooth circles of his fingers through his hair, waiting patiently until the persistent bout of coughs finally lets up. Once it’s over, Eddie huffs a sympathetic breath as Richie goes slack and keeps his face buried. A miserable groan falls from his mouth.</p><p>So fucking worth it.</p><p>“Ouch.” Richie’s voice is partially muffled by Eddie’s shirt, making him difficult to understand.</p><p>“You okay?” Eddie half-hums. He continues the motions of his hand through Richie’s hair, stopping every so often to give a few scratches.</p><p>“Head fuckin’ hurts.”</p><p>“You want some Tylenol?”</p><p>“Mhm.”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll go grab you some-” </p><p>“<em>Noooooo</em>,” Richie whines, throat still burning, as he quickly snakes his arms around Eddie’s torso and firmly plants the side of his head atop his chest. Eddie huffs a laugh when Richie squeezes tight and nuzzles him as closely as he can. Seconds pass, and a familiar yip from the floor beside the couch cuts them both off. Flashing a smile, Richie peers over the cushion’s edge. “Oh, baby girl-”</p><p>Richie breaks off into another fit of coughs, and Eddie waits until he settles back against his chest to scoop their puppy up from the floor. With Richie already engulfing him, Eddie carefully places Leia on the man’s back. More laughter fills the room as Leia gleefully scampers up and down Richie’s back, tail whipping back and forth with an abundance of energy.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>We’re barely watching our new sunrise, my love, but it’s so fucking beautiful. I don’t even need to see it to know. It’s this feeling, buried somewhere deep in my chest, that I’ve only ever felt when I look at you. The dimples of your smile when you laugh, your eyes when they glisten with joyful tears, your cheeks when they blush the lightest tints of pink. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>You shine, my dear, when you’re this happy. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Who needs the sunrise when I can gaze upon you, beaming rays of not just light but also of warmth. I want to feel it everywhere, to feel it on every inch of being until it consumes me. I want your love, now that I know you have more to give. I want to take it all and offer mine in return. You can take as much as you could ever want, my sun, for the love I have for you knows no bounds. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>And my love, if you’re the sun, then I’m the moon. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Thus I must thank you, my destined, for sharing your light with me. For helping me shine on my own, and to not just survive but to conquer life’s rapid tides. I could watch us shine together for eternity, darling. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>So, my shining light, my sweetest love, take my hand.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Let us dance amongst the stars.</em>
  </p>
</div>Richie laughs sweetly, caught between his two loves, his <em>family</em>, as he dwells in the comforting embrace of the rising sun’s rays.<div>
  <p>
    <em>What a love he’s found in this unrelenting world.</em>
  </p>
</div>Upon hearing her fathers’ laughter, Leia’s excitement only grows. She fumbles up towards Richie’s head as far as she can go and cranes her neck to wildly lick at the man’s ear. “Leia, honey,” Richie giggles, jerking against the ticklish sensation, “Please, s-sweetie, <em>Leia</em>, oh my god, Ed-Eddie make her <em>stop</em>-”<div>
  <p>
    <em>What a beautiful, sublime love.</em>
  </p>
</div>Eddie chuckles, reaching up to offer Leia the scratches he knows she’s looking for. She melts under Eddie’s touch almost instantly, slumping down where she stands. Eddie continues his pets, a comfortable silence flooding the room as he does and, within a few short minutes, he has Leia completely knocked out and dozing on Richie’s shoulder. Careful not to move the puppy, Richie gradually shifts backwards so they can meet eyes.<p>“So,” Richie starts, his mouth curving upwards into a playful smirk. “Should we talk about the elephant in the room?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“You <em>like</em> like me.”</p><p>“<em>Like</em> like? What the fuck are we, Richie, twelve? And yes, I feel like I made that pretty clear when I was actively trying to shove my tongue down your throat, dipshit-”</p><p>“Eddie, I’m a dude.”</p><p>“Oh...” Eddie breaths as his annoyed expression quickly fades. He frowns, nods to himself a few times, and looks back at Richie. “...Right, yeah.”</p><p>“Wanna fill in some gaps for me, Eddie, baby?” Richie asks, now fully aware of what using his old nicknames for Eddie as romantic terms of endearment does to him. He smirks proudly as he watches Eddie’s cheeks turn from pink to red. Seconds pass, however, and Richie takes pity when Eddie only stares back like a deer in headlights. “Alright, I’ll help you out,” He says, smiling softly, “When did this all start?”</p><p>“Uh.” Eddie blinks. Computing, pondering, buffering. He shakes his head as if suddenly woken from a deep trance. “Not long after you came out, I think?”</p><p>“What changed?”</p><p>“Well, um,” Eddie stutters again, eyes falling for a moment. Richie watches him speak with deep fascination. He’s never seen Eddie so fucking flustered in his <em>life</em>, and shit, of course. Of <em>course</em> it’s insanely adorable. “I guess I started figuring it out when you stopped, uh...touching me? Remember that? Fuck, of course you do, you were there-” </p><p>“Indeed I was, Eduardo.”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up, I’m not done,” Eddie shoots Richie a threatening glare and swats him on the shoulder as a warning. The expression in his eyes, however, is anything <em>but</em> angry. “I hated how you wouldn’t touch me, and it took over a week of that to wonder why the fuck I cared so much that you did. And that’s when I, uh, started questioning everything. Like, sexuality stuff-”</p><p>“Heh, yeah, I can see that-”</p><p>“Shut <em>up</em>!”</p><p>A loud cackle from Richie, an exaggerated roll of the eyes from Eddie. And yet, even through the commotion, Leia remains oblivious and asleep on top of Richie.  </p><p>“And once I was aware of <em>that</em>,” Eddie stutters, huffing as Richie continues to snicker softly above him, “I started to, uh, notice things? About you. That I...liked. A lot.” </p><p>“Oh my, Eduardo...do tell,” Richie teases, wearing a sly grin. </p><p>“Don’t fucking look at me like that!” Eddie all but whines, face still flushed as he attempts to cover it with both hands. </p><p>“Can’t help it, Eds, you’re too fucking cute for your own good,” Richie beams, eyes gleaming with overwhelming adoration as he chuckles breathily. “Come on, tell me...please?”</p><p>“Okay, okay! Fine,” Eddie grumbles, following Richie’s poor attempt at making sad puppy eyes. He purposely averts his eyes as he speaks and tries to avoid Richie’s overly-adamant gaze. “So maybe I thought you looked really cute, too? Like cute enough that when you smiled it made my heart race and I wanted to kiss you, maybe? And hug you all the time? Or at least to just lay with you in bed so I could be closer to you, maybe play with your hair?”</p><p>“Shit, that’s so cute-”</p><p>“Shut it, dickwad, I’m still going,” Eddie snaps, unable to come off as threatening with the heated blush still apparent on his cheeks. “Rich, I laid in bed for hours at night just picturing you holding me. I just <em>wanted</em> it all the fucking time. I wanted to feel you laugh against me. I fucking adore your laugh, Richie, and seeing you smile has given me a damn visceral reaction whenever I see it. I gave myself heart palpitations once because you held my stupid hand, so thanks for that, asshole-” </p><p>“Oh my god, wait, Eddie-”</p><p>“And <em>then</em>,” Eddie continues without missing a beat, hand in a blade, “There was that time you weren’t wearing pants when I got home...and then I got really fucking mad because you put on pants while I was trying to check you out-”</p><p>“<em>What</em>?!” Richie bursts out in surprise,  “You-”</p><p>“And your goddamn shoulders-”</p><p>“My <em>shoulders</em>, Eddie?” Richie’s overly-amused laughter fills the entire room.</p><p>“Yes! Your stupid fucking shoulders that I wanted to fucking <em>climb</em>, Richie! Now shut the <em>fuck</em> up before I <em>make</em> you-”</p><p>“Oh, sounds sexy.”</p><p>"Richard, I’m <em>this</em> fucking close to kicking your ass!”</p><p>“Is this your version of foreplay? Because I think I could get into this-” </p><p>Eddie raises one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose before exhaling a tense, heavy breath. His eyes fall shut as he does and, when he slowly opens them seconds later, he’s met with Richie staring down at him with a goofy, lovestruck grin. Richie watches as Eddie loses his own battle and slowly drops the angered facade. Expression softening, he leans upward to press a kiss to the top of Richie’s forehead. “It all just kinda clicked after that,” Eddie explains, voice low and delicate, “I looked at you and realized that how I saw you was so much more than just my best friend, and how I wanted more.”</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>How the hell did he get so fucking lucky?</em>
  </p>
</div>“Heh, yeah,” Richie huffs a laugh, “I know the feeling.”<p>Eddie hums in acknowledgement. A movement catches his eye, and he looks up to spot Leia waking from her very short nap. She stands, and Eddie snatches her up before she goes running off the couch. No longer bound to Eddie’s stomach by Leia, Richie sits up and realigns himself so that he’s laying just along the cushions’ edges with his back facing Eddie. Eddie catches on quickly and hands the squirming puppy off to Richie before sinking in behind the man. </p><p>“So.” Richie lays comfortably, supporting his head with one arm and holding Leia tightly to his chest with the other. “If you didn’t figure any of this out until after I came out to you, does this mean that I was your motherfucking <em>gay awakening</em>?”</p><p>Richie can’t see it, but he can feel Eddie roll his eyes to the back of his head. He snickers, earning a jab of a finger to his ribs. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie sighs exaggeratedly, “Rub it in, Rich.” Without waiting for a reply, Eddie scoots in closer behind Richie. He nuzzles his head into the crook of Richie’s neck as he reaches around to rest both hands atop Richie’s stomach. </p><p>“Oh I fucking <em>intend</em> to, not to mention the <em>other</em> things I’ll be rubbing-”</p><p>Eddie nips at Richie’s neck hard enough to give a pinch. </p><p>“<em>Ow</em>, you little shit-”</p><p>Richie’s voice cuts off the instant he feels the press of Eddie’s lips against his skin, followed by a flick of his tongue. Shivering, Richie begins to realize just how much Eddie has him wrapped around his fingers the exact same way Richie has Eddie around his own. Oh, the absolute <em>fun</em> they’ll have. Eddie smiles against Richie’s neck as he plants a trail of light kisses leading towards the man’s jaw. Richie turns to meet him, patiently waiting as Eddie cranes his neck to plant a loving kiss on his lips.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I love you.</em>
  </p>
</div>The pair sighs in unison before they lazily break apart, minds fuzzy with a sweet fondness that tenderly warms their hearts.<div>
  <p>
    <em>I love you, I love you, I love you.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I’ll love you in this moment and in every one that follows. I’ll say it when you need to hear it, write it down when you need to read it, embody it when you need to feel it. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I’ll wait another twenty-seven years, or a dozen times longer, if I must. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I’ll go back and face Derry all over again, I’ll live through the torment of near-defeat. So long as I know that I’ll have your affection once we’re finished, I’ll do it all. I’ll run towards you, I’ll run with you, I’ll even run in your stead when you need me to. Whatever tribulations I must face to feel your love, my brightest star, I hope you know that it’s worth every second. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>That you’re worth every damn second.</em>
  </p>
</div>Richie smiles widely at the notion and exhales a subtle, content laugh. Rubbing a slow circle along the man’s abdomen, Eddie leans forward a bit to steal a glance at his face. “What?” Eddie asks with a smile, growing and intrigued, as he gives Richie’s belly a light squeeze. “What is it?”<p>“I still can’t believe that you, Edward Kaspbrak, hater and slayer of all germ-kind, swapped spit with me <em>multiple</em> times while I was fucking <em>sick</em>,” Richie exclaims with disbelief blatantly laced in his voice. His laughter makes Leia squirm in his grasp, so he carefully places her down on the small space of cushion beside his chest. The puppy sighs happily and plops back down into a tight ball against Richie. </p><p>Eddie groans, buries his face into Richie’s neck, and mutters something unintelligible that tickles the man’s skin. </p><p>“Hm?” Richie smirks, sensing Eddie shift against his neck to lift his mouth away just enough for him to utter the quietest of <em>I love you</em>’s. “Still can’t hear you, Spaghetti,” Richie outright lies, “What’d you say?”</p><p>“Because I fucking love you, jackass!” Eddie snaps loudly, sitting up. </p><p>“Yeah, that’s what I thought you said.” Richie cranes his neck back to peer up towards Eddie as the look on his face shifts to one much more genuine. A sentimental rush floods his chest when Eddie mirrors his expression, reaching down to place a hand upon the one Richie has on Leia. Richie beams, his heart overflowing with a love that he never even knew existed until this moment. “I love you too.”</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>I love you, I love you, I love you.</em>
  </p>
</div>“Hey Eds?” Richie asks as he scoots a bit lower and buries his head under Eddie’s chin. He feels another fond rush build in his chest, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, when Eddie subconsciously moves to kiss the top of his head.<p>“What is it?” Eddie’s voice is tired yet blissful. Maybe they can sleep for a bit after this, if only to live in this timeless moment for just a little while longer. </p><p>“You wanna go out on a date with me sometime?”</p><p>“About damn time you asked.”</p><p>“...Is that a yes?” </p><p>“Hm. Sure, okay. Let’s go on a date.”</p><p>“Fuck yeah.”</p><p>“You’ve got that right. Hey, Rich?”</p><p>“What’s up, Spagheds?”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“Fuck...I love you too, Eds.”</p>
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